Abbreviating Doesn't Change Anything

Cussing.

F'n Hell! or Fuckn Hell?

 What makes you feel more comfortable?
  

Supreme Value

We may be mistaken about something, though it doesn't make sense that someone else, who has reason to believe that a mistake has been made, can come along and try and improve my life by leading it for me, even if they do know better than I. Au contraire de, no life goes better being led from the outside according to values that person doesn't hold. A valuable life is one that is led from the inside.

Thought provacation thanks to Charlesworth

Eloquence Has No Room For Fads

Why do you try and pamper literature and end up leaving it with nothing but dead beat lines and out-of-context referencing?

I'm talking about a difference between writing with flow as opposed to random fill in words that don't necessarily need to be used.  So why must you always try and write with 'eloquence' when you can't even articulate spoken word properly.

It's easy to sit and write and have that extra time to ponder about what your writing. Time enough to check a thesaurus and find the biggest synonym possible, even though a synonym doesn't always have the correct definition your looking for.

Yes it's all good that you might be trying to expand your vocabulary or trying to sound like you have something worth saying. Don't have a cry yet. You just want to be smart. Who doesn't? Just take a second to think about what your writing and the audience your presenting it to. Don't mind what I say. At least your writing looks plump and juicy, though when anyone bites into it all they're gonna get is grainy, seed infested material. No one forgets a bad feed.

You don't have to be grandiose when you write. There is nothing shameful about choosing the simple small word. At least then you know what your talking about and there isn't room for someone to argue that your use of the English language is appalling.

Enjoyment does come out of making a passage of writing seem intelligent I must admit but, if your not clearly getting your point across then your wasting everyone's time. Intelligence is not a fad. If your trying to catch up and think big words are the answer then you've already proven an idiots presence.

Welcome to a bad day, go to sleep.

Ever have those people that cry over the smallest things. OK, I can be sympathetic to them but sometimes I think they're just simply pathetic. A few bad things happen to them and suddenly its the end of the world. I know a guy who would seriously come to school and would act all down until someone (probably me) would give in and ask him whats wrong. Yeah I could speak on 'attention seekers' and the like, but this something further.

Crying and feelings of sadness are simply our body's way of protecting our mind from further stresses. That's why after a good cry we tend to feel a whole lot better. Lately though my mind has been wandering off on me on more important issues. I don't normally get caught staring into oblivion. But pondering and moping and not trying to get over it is the worst way to go about it. Acknowledge how your body wants to deal with it and decide whether or not its actually appropriate. I sometimes want to rage on certain days but I know that in a few moments it'll pass. Train yourself to handle a bad situation. Mum, Dad and friends are not always going to be there for you so if fall down you best learn to rub some dirt in it and stop telling the entire world you have a little boo boo. Honestly, when you see those facebook postings and when it comes down to trying to suck some sympathy out of people I think that's when you know who's been cradled for far too long.

Go latch on to your Mums nipple again. I'm sure she'd enjoy that.

Bad things are bound to happen and I understand that somethings like death are not the easiest things to deal with, I'm not trying to say get over it to something on that scale. But if you lost your little job, lost a wallet, got injured, had a car accident all things that are such small scale. Stop acting like such a pus wipe and don't try and burden someone else with minor issues. Your big enough and ugly enough to deal with it.

Welcome to bad day, go to sleep

Never Follow The Track

"Try and find the positive in the situation" - The Rage In Placed Lake

Prologue: Ever had the worst day in history? Ever wanted to just smash everything around you? We'll I had one of those days. But without the anger. Self control over anger I think is the most important thing you can do. Just smile. You'll be laughing about it soon enough.

7th August 2010

I haven't really had much to look  forward to over the last month. Same routine and what not. Though the last 24 hours has been definitely one to remember. Jeric's 18th was the hot topic. Definitely talked up and expectations we're more than less met. So I got to be driver on the night.

1930 We turned up an hour and a half late. I don't think we missed much. We we're shoved into the back corner. Food was nice. I don't exactly know how the night was meant to be presented. It didn't seem to have much schedule to it.

2200 I don't know who started on the cake. It looked pretty mangled. But I did then choose to help out with the strawberries! Coping some cake in the face at the same time! Night was looking up. We we're definitely in better spirits now. 

2300 At least the dance floor heated up someway into the night. There was a period of time we're it seemed a heap of people went missing.

8th August 2010

Skipping ahead. All the antics. It's actually Post-Party I want to share. Abel, Armen, Adman and I we're about to receive a whole lot of karma. 

0100 So we decided to drive through this field instead of going around the long way. Following the track laid out before us was the worst idea ever. Simply enough we, well I, managed to bog the car in nice deep hole. So here we are in our nice party wear trying to push this car out of the mud. There was seriously nothing we could do. 

Doesn't look that bad but the left side was sunk!

0130 Out of a million things that could've happened a friend was in the area and we got a lift back to the Mazo's home to grab some boots and more heavy duty clothing.

0200 Dragging hard rubbish back to the car we tried using a huge mattress sponge to soak up the water, wood pieces to get some traction on the wheels. We had high spirits and a goal to get this out and have a laugh. As much as we revved that car and pushed it was going no where. Road side assist wouldn't even attempt to get us out. We spent more time trying to lift the car and getting something under the tyre.

0300 At this point we definitely had given up. Poor car. Lock up and try again when the sun comes up.

0330 Sleep Time!

0900  Back to work and putting back our muddy clothes. Help of Dad, the sun, a whole heap of tough wood, few buckets and motive of Hungry Jacks! We start scooping all the water out. Shoveling mud out with our hands. It was a long process of jacking up the car a bit to wedge some wood under. We had to do all four tyres. The car was muddy and had hand prints and mud drawings all over it. Thanks boys.

1100 We have some progress happening and the wood is being laid out nicely. Jack had done the job. We had to make sure each piece was solid and supported and was being stuck in correctly. There was no way I wanted to go through this process again!

1130 Slowly reverse the car back and with some man power pushing it back. We got a small wheel spin. But then it just moved all the way out. WE'D FRKN DONE IT! We all look like we've crawled out from the mud itself. Mud hurts when it dries and you try take it off. We make a monument as victory and also as a warning to other driving 'STAY OFF THE TRACK!'

Pre-Clean - It was way more muddy than this

1200 Get back home to clean everything. Thick mud is everywhere.

1300 Now we're sitting in HJ's enjoying a very unhealthy meal but one deserved. Though receiving a reward for getting ourselves out of a predicament which our own stupidity put us in could be argued undeserved. Thank God I didn't have to pay $160 for a tow truck to come and 'attempt' to get us out.

But wait.. Day gets worse

1600 Driving to Murrumbeena for cheer training. A lady in front of me slams her breaks. So do I of course my car is bigger hence needing more time to stop. I did slow down significantly but I still managed to bump in to the back of her. Dammit! So now I have a car covered in mud and dented a bit of the front panel and chipped some paint off the front.

Just annoyed it chipped so easily. haha

Out of this whole experience though I did learn something about myself that I already suspected but have never been put in the situation. I have a very high tolerance for life's crap. It took all off about one song to have me in a good mood again. Cleaning the car was even fun. Also make your own way, cause if you follow someones path you might end up stuck. "Thats Deep" and the puns just keep on rollin' in! 

Sometimes situations may seem really glum. Looking past what you have to do, to when you'll be able to look back at it and just be happy. Sometimes you won't get the result you want. Sometimes someone will screw it up. Find something funny about it and don't be such a bitch to yourself or others.  

My positive out of today is that I know my boys are the best guys I could have in my life. As much as our immaturity may get us into trouble we know that we are still able to take it and make a good day out of any day. So to Abel, Armen & Adman, Thanks. Brothers don't come better than you. *high accented 'YEA'

Difficult Presents

"Presents or Presence? Which is more vital?"

Everyone has those friends where we struggle to find gifts for. Some are easier than others. We try and break down our friends into consumer material so that we can align them to a product that their personality, behaviours, humour, history, memory might make some sort of link to. Thoughtful gifts vs expensive gifts vs gag gifts vs money. Giving money is always a quick and easy way of saying "It's your birthday! Here's something so treat yourself". A balance of that and gifts where you see that someone has put thought into what you'd like and even effort to make or create things for you. 18th's, 21st's etc are commonly misjudged as birthdays for an  'Alcohol gift'. Personally if you buy me something I've never tried and is actually worth having then I'd be happy. Something even a little classy. I can't really argue what is a good present and what is a bad present because it all comes down to the giving and receiving counterparts and the relationship between them. But what do you give someone who has everything? You could take some stuff away I guess.

Overall really difficult people to buy presents for are the ones who really just need a new pair of socks. Or a Big M. Or a T-shirt.

BUT SERIOUSLY NEVER FORGET A CARD! Words are worth putting time into.

Maybe I'm Just Tired

Prologue

I really feel for people that suffer from any sort of psychiatric disorder. Especially those without insight. Insight being the persons ability to know that they suffer from a disorder. This can take a lot of therapy and many patient sessions. It's so confronting to see people that just don't know. You can't exactly just tell them. They'll probably think that your crazy. Some people don't have the rationale thinking to convey themselves as being clinically insane. How can you tell what is the disorder and what is the person? What is real and what is not? The power is all in the clinicians. They determine whether or not your insane. How do you prove your sane when trying to prove your sane only depicts you futher as being insane. The aetiology of mental disorders are linked to social, genetic, enviromental and random variables. There can be traced a point of genisis but the question of

"Why did it affect person A? Where a similar issue did not affect person B"

Like for example PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. High prevelence associated with war. Some came back and reportedly killed their spouses during their sleep. Suffering from insomnia, paranoia etc. Yet some came back of course traumatised but not to the extent that it caused a major personality shift that put their lives or others at risk. The literature and research is far overwhelming. The depth of a persons subconcious is still stumping even the most brightest of academics.

 I

Besides this. I've met and dealt with people who have had acute and chronic forms of paranoid schizoprenia and personality paranoia. They definately were edgy about my presence. Lately I've been having this weird feeling that there is always someone behind me. If anyone knows about adrenaline then you'd know that having it pumped too much is not good for you. I haven't reached a point where it's affecting my daily routine but it's just that this feeling could only be partial to what someone diagnosed with a disorder would feel. It's most likely my mind playing tricks with my recent thoughts on the topic. Like if you ever read symptoms for diseases you'll eventually find one that you think you have, but you don't. On top of this feeling I've been having I'm very prone to twitching sensations and now could possibly be the worse time for it. I've been getting these small twitches in my shoulder/neck region and the twitch honestly feels like a tap. Like someone behind me has just tapped me on the shoulder. Not the best thing when I get up at night. Or when I'm sitting here looking over my shoulder every few minutes.

II

I'm at least able to justify all of these thoughts and feelings but imagine having no concept of it. Life with any sort of mental illness is not a fulfilled life. It's so time consuming and what's worse is that early detection, like a lot of things, is the best solution. My doctor told me that I could be considered a depression risk. Linked to stress. I know myself better than that. Maybe I'm just tired.

Sometimes We Have To Stop

“How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.” -  Henry David Thoreau

The boys just relaxing in NZ

Sometimes there are times where your moving so fast that you need to sit down and reflect on what you've accomplished and how that aligns with what your running for. Busy weeks will pass before you get a chance to plan for them. Get ahead before you fall behind. Would you keep running in a race if you realised you were off the track? Why drag it on? You may not have won that race in particular but at least your finding your way back, retracing your steps, finding where you need to start from again. I've taken a new step. One that I didn't enjoy taking but I hope was necessary to take me to another stage of growth. I have no idea what's ahead. Faith and more faith is all you've got. Faith that your path is going to do you and others good.

Mad World...

"I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad" -

Gary Jules

Getting a new bed couldn't come at a better time. Actually, in a funny kind of way it can. Here's how it worked. I know im getting a new bed so I jumped on my bed and hear something go *SNAP*.... I've broken my bed! That's ok, its old and I'm getting a new one. If I wasn't getting a new bed I wouldn't have jumped on my bed and I wouldn't of broken my bed.

I was lucky this time around. This is almost an example of post - catch 22.

P.s. Thanks Harvey Norman!

Roses are Red

"Roses are Red, Violets are Blue... F*** you whore" - 500 Days of Summer

You always see the emotional complication and torment that comes from a heart that has been ripped out juggled and then defecated on. It hurts. It actually is an emotion you can trigger in yourself. Like whenever your mind wanders enough that you imagine someone that you love dearly passing away. This is besides then point. 500 Days of Summer really has an angle put on a broken heart. Thought summer clearly stays honest on the dynamic of what she wants out of this 'relationship'. Maybe we do this sometimes too. Infatuated by the the concept of another human with hips, lips and tits. Blunt? But it can't be denied. These are not the only aspects I must admit. It's the strange formula where you can be so in love yet be dropped so easily. So vunerable yet it's the trust that's put into the other. I guess we understand the risk but in the greater scheme of things it would've been worth it to hurt then to never know.

p.s. this was written on my ipod so the format isn't very neat. just a rant.

These photos are not the property of myself

Always Expect The Worse

I was always taught to expect the worse while driving so that you will always be ready for that sudden moment. Though all responsibility should not always be on the driver. 

Earlier today I was driving Blue to school. Everything was fine till' this kid ran onto the road from in front of a parallel parked car (I was being more than safe, staying under the recommended speed for a school zone) The kid didn't exactly run out. He more stepped out a bit and then jumped backwards. So I did nothing else but run him down! Not really. 

"My swerve saved my conscience...and the kid"

I didn't hear a bump, thump, crunch, yell or squeal so I'm pretty sure the kid is fine. Correction. I know the kid is fine. Maybe now he'll pay attention to the multi-million dollar campaigns that are used to teach kids like him road safety. Maybe his Mum will utilise one of the crossings...complete with lollipop lady.

Seriously!

What's a Spock?

I came across this interpretation of the game Rock, Paper, Scissors. Except for the addition of two new characters Lizard and Spock. Spock is a character out of Star Trek. I'm not endorsing that I watched it. Until now I had no idea who or what a Spock was. Google tells all. Lizard I thought was spiderman but i actually think it's just a normal lizard.

The rules of the game are very well set out by arrows. The arrow points to the player that it will defeat. Though its hard to read they also have specific actions like how scissors cut paper. Spock now vaporizes rock. I'll mention the additional rules.

Paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes Rock, Rock crushes Lizard, Lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes Scissors, Scissors decapitates Lizard, Lizard eats Paper.

For someone to come up with this must be payed very well. Not to do this. But having the free time to even contemplate tampering with the most fair way to settle a dispute.

Honestly.